Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Value YOU

Happy Holidays Everyone!

 This weeks video blog discusses the importance of not allowing people or things to determine your value.

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Monday, December 17, 2012

Love & Tragedy in Newton, Connecticut

Associated Press

The perpetual and harrowing acts of senseless violence in this country sadden me deeply. To turn on the television and see that children have been murdered by a crazed gunman is heart-wrenching. How could anyone hurt, let alone murder the purest form of humanity, our children? I can not comprehend it. All I know is that it hurts me to my core that this is our (American) reality.

I find myself thinking of love in very limiting ways. Focusing solely on the romantic love shared by a man and a woman. But atrocities such as the one in Newton, Connecticut encourage me to have an all encompassing view of love. To focus on the love I share with friends, family, and even pets. Love can be taken from you in a flash, why not appreciate it and treasure it. If you are single like me begin to revel in the love that surrounds you right this moment instead of longing for the love you wish to have. It's coming. In the meantime love and be loved.

God Cover Us All...

Monday, December 10, 2012

How He Makes Me Feel...

Men are often clueless as to how horrible their actions can make us feel. So this week I'll share portions of a note I wrote to a man I once dated. Ladies, perhaps you can relate...

I know I’m not your focus… She is, he is, your money is, your family is, your friends are, you are. I know that and am reminded of it again and again. I’ve never wanted to be anyone’s sole focus. Just to know that I rank among the other importance's in his life would suffice. 

I am your nothing… or at least that’s what I’ve felt like from time to time. The girl that you’re feeling sometimes, the one you can do without…besides its not like she’s the love of your life, you’ve been there and done that. So she’s cool but she’s your nothing. You see her when you can and sometimes not even then. You refuse to feel too much for her because feelings are not your thing. You give her slithers of yourself and expect that to be enough. Her constant attempts to flee from you and the vagueness of the relationship are of no consequence because she is in no way needed by you. Needing someone is a weakness right? Most of the time she doesn’t even feel wanted, which is what she longs for most. What she adds to your life is not worth holding on to… is not worth erasing the vagueness for…she is your nothing. She holds no real value in your eyes, for if she did it would show in your dealings with her. She gets very little of your time, attention, or sacrifice...after all she is simply your nothing. Whether she exists in your experience or not matters very little because you are familiar with moving on after a loss…she will be replaced, by the next, the next, and the next. She is your nothing who will become nothing more than a fond memory, just a lil lady passing through.

And though I know I’m your nothing I deserve to be a man’s something, not his only something, but an important one nonetheless.

Love is Closer Than You Can Imagine...

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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Beautiful Blogger Award :-D

Guess What? I've been nominated for the Beautiful Blog and Very Inspiring Blogger Awards by fellow blogger Onleilove who encourages physical, spiritual and emotional wholenesss. Please check out this phenomenal woman's blog.

7 Things About Dream aka Me:

1. I am a sensitive. Someone who feels deeply, passionately, and excessively at times. It'my gift and my curse.
2. I LOVE to dance, particularly to reggae's the thing that makes my spirit smile.
3. Loving unconditionally and without attachment is my life's goal.
4. Serving others makes me happy :-)
5. Spending time with my loved ones provides a joy unparalleled. 
6. I spend a lot of time reading and researching...Yes, I'm an undercover nerd.
7. I want my life's work to include travel, writing, and encouraging others.

I am nominating the following blogs for the Beautiful Blog and Very Inspiring Blogger Awards:

1. Wholeness 4 Love
2. Spirituality is Reality
3. Kellz Korner
4. Single Girl in a Couple's World!

Thanks For Reading!!!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Love In All Its Forms...

It's been 14 days since Sandy hit. She left many areas devastated and people looking for some semblance of normalcy. My family and I haven't had heat, hot water or electricity for 14 days. My usual complaints of slow internet access and dropped calls have been replaced by complaints of incessant cold and the inability to take showers. My first world issues have become null compared to my newfound third world issues. In all this I have experienced a compassion incomparable to any I've witnessed before. Complete strangers have descended upon my neighborhood and brought all the resources they could muster with them. Blankets, food, candles, warming stations, information, and comfort are being provided. I often write of finding love...well I've found it in Brooklyn among throngs of selfless volunteers. Thank You...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Letter To My (Future) Husband... I'm Ready

Hey Baby Cakes,

Words can't even describe how ready I am for you, for your essence, for your spirit, for your presence.

To prepare for you I'm working on my communication skills. Ensuring that in moments of anger I won't attack you.

To prepare for you I am working on subduing my fear of intimacy. Accepting that conflict will inevitably occur in love & there's absolutely no escaping it.

To prepare for you I keep a written account of all the ways I want to indulge in you sexually. Oh, how I look forward to that...

To prepare for you I pray & meditate in order to center myself. So that you may enjoy an emotionally settled woman and nothing less.

God, am I ready for you...

Praying that my love reaches you wherever you are,


P.S. I can't wait to kiss your face ;-)

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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

This Will Fix Your Love Life!!!

Sometimes I talk to myself... Lol, sounds crazy I'm sure. But what I mean is sometimes when I'm pondering life I'll speak to my spirit self and listen in hopes of obtaining the truth.

Throughout my dating life I've had a number of failed relations but I don't consider myself blameless or a victim. In each one of those experiences I was partly responsible for its demise.

The other day as I contemplated these misses I asked the Creator (who is within me). What can I do moving forward to be better & do better in my relationships??? Immediately I received the inaudible response "Selfless Love". So there we have it, the one who knows me better than I know myself encourages me to love from a place of selflessness and I intend to do so.

I will no longer love from a self-centered view but will put aside thoughts of myself, my needs, and my expectations. Yes this will be extremely trying, but if I must transcend myself (my self imposed hang ups & limitations) in order to gain pure be it.

Ask your spirit what u can do to be better at love & listen for its response...

Remember Your Love is Closer Than You Can Imagine!

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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I'm In Love...

I’m in love…but it’s not the kind of love we see on T.V. 
He doesn’t bring me flowers or shower me with gifts. He doesn’t pour his heart out to me on a regular basis. He doesn’t say “I love you” often but when he does I KNOW he means it.

For months I have been fighting this feeling. This is not what I thought love would look like. Isn’t it supposed to induce some grand gesture? Aren’t I supposed to feel elated and have butterflies in my stomach? That’s what society has taught me. He’s not supposed to disappoint me, right?

I don’t know exactly what love is supposed to look or feel like but I’m sure the answer doesn't lie in media/societal portrayals. What I do know is that I derive pleasure from making him smile.  What I do know is that our love is comprised of a mutual respect, passionate discussions, and a strong desire to see each other happy (whether we are together or apart).

Love doesn’t look at all like I thought it would... but I am grateful to have it.

Rest Assured, Your Love Is Closer Than You Think... 

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Nice Guys Finish Last...


 I watched MTV's Friendzone for the first time yesterday and it got me to thinking... For those of you who haven't watched the show here's a brief synopsis. Here we have a set of best friends who enjoy each others company and get along fabulously. Usually it's a girl and a guy. One of these individuals has a secret crush on the other. For example if it's the guy who has a crush on his best girl-friend he must muster up the courage to tell her and ask her on a date at which point she answers Yes or No.  

In one particular episode there was a sweet, stocky young man who was madly in love with his best friend. At first glance I could tell that she wouldn't be interested in him, the proverbial "nice guy". Because, isn't that the way it works? Throughout our lives we have nice guys or girls who would relish in the opportunity to love & adore us. Yet somehow that person doesn't fit the mold. We're not physically attracted to them, he/she is a bit too nerdy or chunky...the list goes on. I've been blessed with the opportunity to date some REALLY good guys. Each of whom would have made great husbands. But with most of them that "it" factor was missing. You know that thing that makes your heart skip a beat... Yeah, that nonsense.

Anyway, as I watched that young lady turn down her sweet and stocky friend I screamed at the screen (with disgust of course) "Don't do it girl! In about 10 years after having your heart ripped apart by jerks you're gonna wish you'd given that "nice guy" a chance." But it was to no avail, the show had been previously recorded and television is not yet interactive so she couldn't hear me, SMH.  While my disgust grew I realized it wasn't her that it was directed at, it was my younger self. If I just would've stayed with so and so I would be married by now. If I could've loved him back or been physically attracted to that other good guy perhaps I wouldn't be single.

*Sigh* Why is it that we love & pursue those who are indifferent to us and run from those who love & adore us? Is it the challenge? Is it low self worth? Is it that we're idiots? I don't know. What I do know is that nice guys will no longer finish last with me. They are my top choice and have been for some time now.

Rest Assured, Your Love Is Closer Than You Think
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Wednesday, September 12, 2012


I experienced that feeling called love again recently. It completely blindsided me, swooped down, took hold of me and ascended to the heavens. At times it felt so good and frightened me so bad. We can learn a lot from love. It teaches us how to be selfless, how to compromise & how to accept the flaws that we each possess. It teaches more than we know. My recent glimpse of love was a lesson in itself.

It shined a light on my fear of intimacy. For someone who writes weekly about wanting to be in a relationship it’s ridiculous how afraid I am of baring my soul. And isn’t that what love is? Opening up and letting someone see you in your totality. Letting them see the light and the dark that resides within.

A long time ago I noticed that even though people love you they won’t always have your best interests in mind. It was then that I made the conscious decision to guard my heart. It’s no surprise that this defense mechanism has followed me into present day relationships. So now when I feel threatened (in love) I am tempted to run and sometimes do. This my dears is no way to live. Antiquated worries have no place in my present reality. I have come to the realization that love & fear cannot occupy the same space simultaneously. (Defense mechanisms are born of fear.) Therefore it’s time to choose one or the other. I choose love.

Readers, what lesson is love trying to teach you?
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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

What God Says About Love...

This week I interviewed Miss Allgood, the speaker and host of the radio program Spirituality is Reality on She is a Spiritual Teacher who attests to communicating directly with the spirit of God. This is what the Spirit had to say about LOVE...

 What is Love?

To love you must become love. To become love you must rid yourself of fear. Fear binds you. Love is freedom. People are afraid to love because they are afraid to lose. Fear has to go...All walls have to be taken down. When you put up a wall of fear, you isolate yourself and can't give or receive love. In love one's existence depends on the others existence... yet both are independent beings. (Both dependent & independent) Love has come to mean being pleasured...This is false. Love is communion and a spiritual/mental connection. To have love we must give of ourselves...our power.

What is Relationship?

There must be a spiritual synchronization among men and women. This is a spiritual "meeting of the minds" How does one know he or she is aligned spiritually requires me to explain something that most people do not know. I will do this a concisely as possible.  Those of us that have read the scriptures have heard the term "unequally yoked" however most do not understand what this means. I want to explain how this relates spiritually to the man and woman his partner. First let me start by explaining what a Yoke is... A Yoke is a device that enables typically Oxen or a PAIR of animals to carry or pull heavy loads simultaneously. Thus enabling them to evenly distribute the workload among each other. All healthy relationships must be harmonious or equally balanced. To be unequally Yoked is to be imbalanced spiritually. Meaning that one or the other person  is bearing excessively on  each other. This is what causes the burden and also pain and suffering. Now what exactly is it that is the burden? It is the person himself. Now this can be either person.  What causes spiritual imbalance is a lack of sharing. When there is sharing of one another. (Notice I say One another) there is a mutual sharing of each other. A man and woman share themselves with each other. In order to really grasp this you must understand that the
For those of you who still may not grasp this. Picture a balancing scale. In order for each side of the scale to be in equilibrium both sides must have an equal amount of weight. In spiritual relationships there is no pain or burden because there is BALANCE.
 In love there is NO PAIN. On the contrary. Love actually gives an orgasmic burst of energy and profound strength. It quickens you gives you life force! 
I know this sounds way out the box but it is the truth. No relationship should be causing one to be drained or burdened.  When I spoke of opposites I did not mean this in a trivial or superficial way. I mean your spiritual opposite. If you want to know more about that I can tell you. Women have to get in touch with their spiritual self. They have to get away from the traditional sense of relationship and get back to the purity of just plain old friendship. From what I can see most women do not even truly value this. Out of the best friendships love is born.

Your Love Is Closer Than You Think :-)

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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Why You Can't Trust Your FEELINGS...


I was in a very amorous mood. I couldn’t help but think of him and what it would be like to be his woman. “He’s hardworking, responsible, and loyal” I thought to myself. We would make a great combination. Fast forward about 24 hours and here I am pondering how difficult it would be to build a union with this man. “He has too much going on in his life.” “I don’t wanna deal with all his mess”. “It’s probably best if I fall back.”

In the span of 24 hours I went from feeling excited about us to feeling unsure as to whether I should pursue things further. It occurred to me right then that feelings can’t be trusted (not all the time anyway). From moment to moment they can change. We can go from loving someone to hating them in the blink of an eye. This happens to lovers all the time. You see them hugged up and hear them profess their love for one another…a few months later they’re over it. It’s as if love never happened. Feelings are a part of the human experience, we can’t change that (nor should we want to). However, we must be aware of how easily feelings can shift. True love should not dissipate rapidly. Nor should it become hate overnight. People will disappoint and annoy you but even in the midst of all that... love should remain love. I refuse to see love as a feeling and instead look at it as a state of mind. I choose to love, even when my feelings suggest that I shouldn’t.

Feelings can be helpful but they can also be deceptive. Monitor them and don’t let them dictate your life.
Praying That Your Love Is On Its Way...
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Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Are You Able To Forgive???

The mere thought of marriage is fascinating and undeniably chilling. We are called upon to form lifetime partnerships which in turn challenge us to be transparent and selfless. A serious undertaking such as this should not be handled lightly. In my contemplation of this union, the concept of letting go comes up quite often. Two people bound by love will have conflict and moments that rival discord. I wonder when those moments come & go, if I will be able to get past the hurt that may linger. Some months ago a man I was dating did something that hurt me to my core. I was going thru one of those harrowing moments in life and needed his support…he didn’t show up. Till this day the memory of him not being there brings up feelings of anger and sadness.

I began thinking of these residual feelings in regards to marriage. There will most likely be moments in my partnership where my spouse will drop the ball. Even in the healthiest of relationships people have moments like this. It is in man’s nature to be flawed and to sometimes work at eradicated those flaws. But I ask myself… “when something similar happens in your marriage how will you respond?” Will I hold on to the feelings of anger, hurt, and disappointment endlessly? When I recall the incident will I become upset with my husband (even if it happened months or years ago)? Will I ever truly be able to forgive the fact that he missed the mark?

I know for certain that in relationships we MUST be able to forgive and let go. Not doing so leads to a load of despair that none of us should have to bear.

As for me and the incident I mentioned, the effects still linger. I will make a conscious effort to forgive my former paramour because the truth is he’s only human (unfortunately) :-).

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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Superficial Love...

He Says: Men are visual creatures...She HAS to look good.

She Says: He has to be at least 5 inches taller than me.

He Says: The sex has to be incredible.

She Says: I'm not dating a man that makes less $$$ than me...


How many times have we heard such proclamations??? With superficial belief systems like this permeating society it's no wonder people have such a hard time building strong, long lasting unions. Our definitions of love are horribly warped. Love is not a selfish ambition or a feeling that fades...but I digress. We often approach dating & relationships in a very self centered way. Seeking out a partner for the sole purpose of getting our needs met. Why does a woman have to be a perpetual glamor girl to attract a man? Why must a man earn a certain amount of money to attract women? Shouldn't a persons character be the most important factor when choosing a mate? I think so! We are doing ourselves a grave disservice by adhering to these limiting superficial criteria.

I read recently that a woman who has more than 10 sex partners is deemed less desirable (suitable for marriage) by men. As I roll my eyes at this ridiculous notion I recognize how superficial love has become. Each one of us is free to choose what characteristics we want in a mate. But please believe the more we focus on nonsense (height, waist size, dollar signs, # of partners, swag, etc.) the more difficult attaining REAL love will become.

Ladies Your Man is Closer Than You Think!!!

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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Men Want Nice Bodies, Good Food & Great Sex...

Today while browsing the web I came across a video in which a panel of Black men were discussing their views on marriage. Upon hearing statements like "Women know we like tight bodies so they should go to the gym" and "She gotta be able to cook and should give me sex every time I ask" I became annoyed. As they rattled off the "duties" of a wife, I blurted out (with an attitude of course) "What are you gonna do while she is doing all of that?" As soon as I said it I realized this is the problem with most of our relationships. We (men & women) are constantly concerned with what the other person can do for us. There is a tit for tat attitude running rampant in society. These men expect their women's bodies, cooking skills and sex to be on point. While we women have our own exhaustive list of  requirements. In relationships women & men barrage one another with expectations and/ or demands. You need to do this for me. You should be this way to make me happy...

This my friends is not love. Let's stop making demands and focusing solely on what we want. Let us move to  a higher level of love... one where we focus on fostering the well being of the other person. 
I'm just sayin...
Rest Assured Dolls Your Love Is On The Way!
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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Random Thought: Relationship Vs. Partnership

Relationships can be so tentative & fragile. One moment a man & woman are head over heels in love, the next moment they can't stand each other. I have absolutely no interest in being a part of a relationship that can be tossed aside so easily. Many times people enter unions with one thought in mind, having 'their' needs met. For those of you who haven't gotten the memo yet, relationships are not meant to simply meet your needs. They are opportunities to learn, grow, serve and become better human beings. Doesn't sound like much fun when I put it that way, huh???

A relationship should instead be viewed as a partnership. defines partnership as,  

"An association of two or more persons engaged in a business enterprise in which the profits and losses are shared proportionally."

In this case let's just say the "business enterprise" is the relationship itself. When two people view themselves as partners they both accept responsibility for the good, the bad, and the ugly that results from their union. They pursue gains and are serious about finding ways to minimize loss. They are relentless when it comes to their business (relationship) and will do whatever it takes to ensure success.

In today's climate of K.I.M (Keep it Moving) partnerships are in no way common. Yet, I hope very much to be a part of one someday :-)

Dolls, Your Love Is Closer Than You Think...

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Thursday, July 5, 2012

Men...We Need You...

Complain all you want about men but one thing we gotta give them credit for is how hard they work. (Disclaimer: please note that I am talking about Men, not boys.)

When a man decides on a career it is the beginning of something quite special. His career becomes his focus. He tends to it like a child, giving it the love, dedication, and care it will need to thrive. He gives it nothing less than his best, putting in extra hours, keeping up with trends, attending trainings etc. A man eats, breathes, and sleeps his work.

It has occurred to me that if men put this much effort into forming & maintaining relationships (with good women) we might see more solid, healthy unions. Perhaps the divorce rate would decline and more children would be raised in two parent households. Women are generally taught to nurture their relationships. We attend conferences, read books, and even exercise our Va Jay Jays just to keep our men happy. Often times men only work on relationships when they are being poked & prodded by their women.

Fellas, we need you… We need you to show up… and when you do show up… we need you to work as hard for our relationships as you do for your jobs.

Your Love is Closer Than You Think...

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