Friday, October 21, 2011

Confidently Single: Knowing What You Need


Recently, I was forced to take stock of exactly what it is I want in a relationship. I had been seeing a young man for some time and needed to decide whether I was "In" or "Out". Simply put was I going to make him my man or continue dating?

My age and dating experience have provided me with a crystal clear picture of what I need from my man. His love has to be intense and somewhat overbearing. I say this because I want to know with every fiber of my being that this man truly loves me. He must be attentive and willing to sacrifice for me.  I ask this simply because I would be willing to do it for him. He has to be emotionally mature and responsible when it comes to his affairs, among other things.

Being Confidently Single means you unequivocally know what you need from a relationship and will not settle for anything less than that.

The things I listed above are what I need from a relationship. But do you know what you need? Perhaps you don't need someone who loves you as intensely as I would like. That's fine! Yet, you must figure it out in order to secure it.

If you are a bit uncertain about what it is you need to be fulfilled (in love) a good place to start is discovering your Love Language. Actually this is a good tool for anyone who wants to be in a happy & healthy union.


Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, created a quiz which can determine whether your primary love language is Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch. Take the 30 second version here, http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/30-second-quizzes/love/ or the 10 minute version here, http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=singles

Share your results in the comments section & please scroll to the end of this page to follow this blog!




Join the Not-so-Patiently Waiting... Facebook page to continue the discussion at: http://www.facebook.com/groups/206747639372967/  :-)

7 comments:

Dream said...

Hey! I scored high in 3 categories the first being Words of Affirmation, the second Quality Time, and the third Acts of Service. It means so much to me when my man tells me how much I mean to him, regularly. I also love when he makes time to be with me. And acts of service like helping around the house, cooking for me, and rubbing my scalp are other ways I like to receive love. How about you???

Justinsmom said...

I scored high in one category at that was Quality Time. This is definitely something that is very important to me bc I make sure that I make time for the people I care about so when someone does that for me then I know I'm special.

Anonymous said...

Top at on quality time because making good and last memories is important to me and you cant take time back. Words of affirmation came in second as we all need encouragement and to be told how appreciated we are. Balanced out on acts of service and physical touch. Totally zero out on gifts.

Dream said...

I see all three of us need Quality Time! Not surprising at all :-)

Aya said...

Sooo...I scored high in acts of service and quality time. Gifts don't mean much to me if there isn't any subtance to them. I think the main reason why acts of service was my highest score is because I have been in relationships where I had absolutely NO help. I felt that if she cared enough about me and the time I put into making a decent home for her, that she wouls help ease the amount of work that I had. Things that make you go hmm...Wish I had picked this book up a few years ago!

Dream said...

Aya, I agree completely that Acts of Service are key. I can't imagine being with someone who does nothing to help out especially if we lived with one another. It's cool that you didn't see the book earlier, we typically get lessons exactly when we're supposed to. :-)

Kellz Korner said...

I so love this post. My top 3 were
Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation..... And to sum that all up . I desire a man who dont mind cooking or doing the dishes, telling me how much he appreciates me and would missed his Game to spend time with me lol. Joke but im serious..lol. However, I do find that these qualities are what I would also do for the person and this post really help me to understand what I am looking for and how what I currently attracting is none of thee above