Friday, September 30, 2011

Cosmo Style Quiz: Are You a Settler Chick???

So often men and women settle for spouses that are no good for them. We know that every relationship takes work; but if you are the only one working something is wrong.  If you allow your spouse to talk down to you, hit you, cheat on and/or manipulate you, you are settling!

This week I've created a Cosmo-style quiz which you can take to determine whether you are a Not-so-Patiently Waiting Girl, a Borderline Babe, or the Settler Chick.  Let's get started and remember to be as honest as possible.

Are You a Settler???

1. The guy you're seeing flirts shamelessly with other women all the time...
a) You ignore it & chalk it up to boys being boys
b) You say to him in a playful way "Have you always been so flirty?"
c) You shut him down and tell him that if he continues flirting with other women in your presence, he will no longer be blessed with your presence

2. After a looonnngg period of being single you meet a guy who is not your type physically or mentally (He's inconsistent & inattentive)...
a) You get to know him hoping he will grow on you
b) Go out with him despite his shortcomings because you're bored
c) Pass on the opportunity because you're more than sure he's not the one

3.  Your boo, the guy you're sooo into tells you that although you've been seeing each other (with benefits) for 4 months he's not ready for a relationship...
a) He's so fine that you continue seeing him in hopes that things will eventually work out
b) You move on knowing that there are plenty of men willing to be more than just your friend
c) You remain a jumpoff/friend and proceed to show him what a great wifey you can be by cooking, cleaning, and sexing him just right

4. The man you call your boyfriend/babyfather/husband, whom you love with all your heart has been caught cheating on you, again...
a) You cry, scream, curse, and eventually forgive him because he promises not to do it again
b) You decide to get back at him by having a fling of your own
c) You remind him of how it feels not to have a good woman and leave his sorry behind

5. Your boyfriend of 2 years says he's bored and wants an open relationship...
a) You laugh in his face & tell him to kick rocks, you have too much going for yourself to share a man
b) You tell him you'll think about it, hoping he will forget the idea altogether
c) You go along with it because you love him & don't want to lose him

See Below to Tally Your Score & Read Your Results!

Answer Grid
1. a-0, b-1, c-2
2. a-0, b-1, c-2
3. a-1, b-2, c-0
4. a-0, b-0, c-2
5. a-2, b-1, c-0

Not-so-Patiently Waiting Girl (7-10 points)
You have evolved past the point of settling for a man, even if you love him. You know your worth and refuse to tolerate disrespect of any kind. No man can belittle you, lie to you, or cheat on you without consequences. Keeping a man is not more important than keeping yourself.

Borderline Babe (4-6 points)
You are aware of your tendency to settle and usually do so because you are bored, lonely, or need a boost of self confidence. You have not yet crossed the line into being the Settler Chick but can slip any moment if you stop reading this blog :-) You know you deserve the best when it comes to dating & relationships and now you must do the work necessary to get it.

The Settler Chick (0-3 points)
I think most of us have been here at some point. You take whatever a man throws at you. He can belittle you, cheat on you, and use you for sex among other things. You allow him to deposit all types of filth into your life because you think loving him is more important than loving yourself. Let these losers go and become the priceless woman God created you to be. (Feel free to contact me for support, sometimes letting go of a man is like getting drugs out of your system, prepare for withdrawal) If no one has ever told you this before I will, YOU DESERVE BETTER!

I will discuss my score in the comments section. Please do so yourself if you feel comfortable sharing. & to continue the discussion join my Not-so-Patiently Waiting facebook page at:   

Peace & Blessings Dolls!


DreamCatcher said...

Hey! I actually scored a 9 out of 10 and would be considered a NSPW Girl. I lost a point on question number 2 about dating guys who are not my type. I do that sometimes just because I want male attention & affection. I know that's wack and I intend to work on it. What was your score and where do you struggle?

Sherri said...

Glad to know I am not a settler but was a bit disappointed in some of my responses.

DreamCatcher said...

Sherri, we all struggle in some area or another. As long as you're working to improve it, you're good :-)

Anonymous said...

I scored a mere 7 so I am a NSPW woman but barely, but my score is not a surprise to me because I only recently got to a place in life where I learned I have been putting up with things from men I don't deserve. I am guilty of dating a guys just cause I bored or lonely, and I tend to hold out hope for a man I know is not good for me but I have been working on these things.

Just me: A beautiful disaster! said...

I'm happy with my score of 7! I don't settle and that's for sure, but I'm open minded and willing to compromise.

Patty said...

Some of the answers to me could be joines together, but I guess what I I would be called and behold it is true. I feel every woman knows the score should be 10 but emotions come to play. The saying men are logical and women are emotional is semi true. Men do stupid things, they aren't as smart as women but when it comes to a situation they think to their best abilty with logic, while our logic is on point we tend to go more with our heart and then try to fit logic into it

DreamCatcher said...

Ms. Diva a few years back I would've been like a 6 or 7. I think time def. helps us get a sense of what it is we will and will not tolerate. Beautiful Disaster being open minded and compromising are key in relationships. It only becomes a problem when you compromise on your core beliefs just because someone else wants you to. For example, if you decide to have an open relationship, make sure it is because you really want to & not just to please him.
Patty, emotions def. lead us to settle. The most popular emotion that leads us to settle is love. But shouldn't we love ourselves enough to make sure we are getting the respect we deserve from others. I also think we have the capacity as women to be logical and emotional. Sometimes we lead with emotion and I see nothing wrong with that. I think it's a gift from God, just like it's a gift that men are logical. Stay encouraged & continue to believe in your ability to grow and get better.
Thanks so much for your responses ladies!

Jamie said...

Also got 9 out of 10. Happy to confirm I'm not a settler. My prince awaits :p

DreamCatcher said...

Good for you Jamie!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm a four now but have been a 7-8 in the past. I took shit when I felt I had to but when the realization hit me I refused to be bashed emotionally on a continuous basis any more. I'm a four today because I know my man would rate a four as well. At present, we are two marshmellows with each other.