Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Men... like roaches when the lights come on...

If you've read any of my other postings you know how hopeful I am that the right man is coming.  I've learned that staying positive is one of the best ways to get what you want.  But even with that said I have some bad days.  Days where I want to be positive but my circumstances cry out to me saying "There's No Hope, Just resign yourself to being alone".  Boy do those days suck royally!

I had one of these days recently.  There's a young man whom I have know for a long time, who has professed his love for me & even spoken of us getting married.  However, I've noticed that after we have one of these VERY serious conversations there will be no follow up.  Here's an example of a conversation we had a short time ago. He Says "You know I love you, we should get married today."  She says "I would actually love to be courted first if that's okay with you."  He says "That's the best part, let's do it."  She says "I'm here and I'm single, so let's get it started."  The conversation (which took place entirely on IM, because that's the only way men like to communicate now) ends and I must admit that a certain excitement sets in.  But then something very interesting and aggravating happens, Nothing.  He does nothing.  Ok, so I decide that he wasn't serious after all.  This makes absolutely no sense to me because I know in another few weeks he'll be professing his undying love for me Again.

Let's call this other dude Exhibit B!  He treats me like a queen when we're together.  One day recently he asks (via text of course) if I am still interested in being a wife and mother.  It was a pretty random question so I asked why he wanted to know.  He says "That's a conversation we should have in person."  Hmmm okay, I like that.  But, and you know there's always a But, the next time I see him we don't have any sort of conversation related to that topic.  And I refuse to remind him of what he said.

So here I am wondering why men who are sooooooo in love with me freeze up when its time to move forward.  It actually reminds me of how roaches freeze when the kitchen light comes on.  Why go so HARD if you're not ready to go any further.  Don't tell me you love me, and don't speak to me about marriage if you're not ready to take it to the next level.

It's extremely confusing to me.  Do men want us to pursue them?  Or do they just say what they think you want to hear, and that's why it never goes any further?

I don't know what it is but I refuse to give up hope.  Father God please send my husband sooner then later so I won't have to deal with this stupidity.  Amen!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

He's Just Not That Into You.....

On Sunday I watched the movie He's Just Not That Into You (for the 1st time) and was disgusted by what I saw.  I watched a beautiful young woman desperately pursue men who didn't want her.  I watched another woman enter into a sexual relationship with a married man, because she thought he might be "the one".  And if that wasn't enough, throughout the film these women are encouraged by friends to accept men's dreadful behavior.  No, No, No, Not Feeling it!

When something upsets me so much I always take the time to do some soul searching to discover why.  And the reason is this, I have been that desperate pursuer (Ugh, Can't Believe I'm Admitting to That).  Not only have I been the pursuer but I have also been the friend trying to justify some of the unbelievably stupid things men do!

Thank God for growth because I am neither one of those things now.  I am convinced that if we saw ourselves the way God sees us we would never resort to chasing men or accepting unacceptable behavior.   One of the reasons why healthy relationships are so rare now a days is because the natural order has been tossed aside.  Men no longer have to do the pursuing, which is in their nature to do.  You mess with the natural order of things and you have to deal with the consequences.

As for me, I know that pursuing a man and dealing with atrocious behavior is OUT OF THE QUESTION.  God says He who finds a wife finds a good thing. Prov 18:22  Therefore we do not have to look or pursue!  God also says that woman is the glory of man. 1 Cor 11:7  If we are his glory shouldn't we expect to be treated as such.

I believe what God says and will wait for my man knowing that he is seeking me and that I am his glory.  Instead of trying to reverse the natural order of the universe I will wait patiently and be my glorious, feminine, vulnerable self.

Why don't you join me????? :-)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Is Opening the Car Door Mandatory??????

I was putting the finishing touches on my hair when he contacted me to say he was downstairs.  This was going to be my first date with this particular young man, and though I was not attracted to him, I was still excited about the possibility of getting to know him better.  As I approached the car, he did something that pegged him as a frog i.e. not my prince.  He did not exit the car to greet me or help me in the vehicle. Ugh, who does that???  I was disgusted to say the least but was happy to get an immediate sense of where this was going.  Um, how about nowhere!  But, I have also learned that men need to be given the benefit of the doubt.  Cause lets face it ladies, all of them are not as sharp as we are :-).  So, I decided to see what he would do when we walked back to the car.  And once again he missed the mark. 

I agree with the sentiment that honesty is the best policy.  Therefore, I said to him "if you want to be my homeboy (friend), keep doing exactly what you're doing, but if you want to date me, than opening the car door for me is mandatory".  He went on to make excuses as to why he failed to be the gentleman he normally is.  Ha!

On the other hand, I recently went on a date with one of the most chivalrous men I've ever met.  When I arrived downstairs he was already waiting for me outside the car and not only opened the door for me but helped me get in.  When exiting he did the same thing.  When walking beside me he put his hand on the small of my back.  When I was chilly, he attempted to warm me.  If there was any step or ramp in my way he would take my hand and assist me with the climb.  NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!  A man like this makes me want to be the vulnerable, feminine woman, God created me to be.  While the dude mentioned above makes me feel like I must continue protecting myself.

My gentleman friend has set a new standard.  All I want to do is spend time with men who treat me with the respect and adoration I deserve.  And I intend to do just that!