Monday, May 16, 2011

If l Never Get Married, I Can Accept That........

"I've gotten to the point where I accept the possibility of never getting married or having children."  This wasn't the first time I'd heard this declaration from a friend.  Hell, about a year ago I shared this sentiment.  Dating had become monotonous and my relationships with men were riddled with disappointment.  This disappointment can eventually lead one to abandon her/his hopes of meeting & marrying "the one".

I hated that my friend felt this way.  But I couldn't blame her.  Remaining hopeful in the face of consistent disappointment can definitely be a challenge.   

The Dating Game looks a lil like this:
-Meet a Man
-Get to Know Him
-Enjoy being Courted or not so much
-Sense Potential for a Relationship
-Like the Guy
-& then BOOM, a disagreement, his "fear" of commitment or him not being "ready", lack of compatibility, or issues such as anger or insecurity begin to rear their ugly heads, (oh he may also be married, have 5 children by 6 different baby mothers, or have an STD)
-It ends & then it's time to do it all over again

After experiencing this OVER and OVER again you may begin to feel as if giving up is the only answer.  I've had the displeasure of repeating this cycle many times and as a result have uttered the same words as my friend.

Though frustrating, what I now know is that all of those experiences enabled me to gain a better understanding of myself and what I NEED from my husband.  It has also provided much clarity as to what I will NOT tolerate from a man. 

After that statement left my friends mouth, I said "No, I won't accept that.  I will have a healthy and fulfilling marriage and children."  I banged my fist on the table (for emphasis of course) and declared "I have to have it, there's no other way".

I am sure that there are people on this earth that can be completely content without a life partner, but I do not happen to be one of those people.  That God-given yearning for companionship remains within me.
The man my creator put here specifically for me is being readied & strengthened for our relationship, as am I.  I have to believe this and will continue to declare it.

I am still not-so-patiently waiting for his love.............

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